2 weeks with Haedynn Baby!

Haedynn had her 2 week check up and ROCKED IT!  She has gained almost 1 full pound in just a week.  She weighed 9.4 lbs, and was almost 22 inches long.  To say she is growing is an understatement.  I can NOT WAIT to get her newborn pics back from the Photographer.  There were some precious moments captured, and pictures are my way of re-living those memories.

Over the past couple of weeks, I have learned A LOT about Haedynn Brooke.  She is THE SWEETEST and most chill baby I have ever met.  I seriously don't know what to do most the time because she is just amazing.  She has been sleeping 4-6 hours at a time during the night.  I wake up more frequently than she does because I worry!!!  I'll feel her chest and make sure she is breathing.  Ya know typical Mom stuff.  She is the best eater.  Thank the heavens above!  When she cries (most the time) it sounds more like a little whimper.  She rarely screams.  She LOVES to snuggle up next to her Dad.  It doesn't take long for her to be in a deep sleep when she is next to his heat source.  She has the LONGEST legs.  I have no idea how I carried her for as long as I did.  She must have been extremely cramped up.  She is a HUGE fan of Kynlee.  Anytime Kynlee starts talking Haedynn tries to track her down.  It's adorable.  It is looking as if Hae will have light blue eyes.  As far as hair color... I have NO IDEA what is going on with her hair.  Sometimes it looks auburn, other times it looks light blonde, and then the back looks brown!  I guess time will tell what color it really is. 
Her nicknames are Hae, HaeB, and Muffin.  She is not too fond of her car seat.  She just wants to be held! 

As far as how I feel...  My smiley face (incision) is healing nicely the Doc says.  I still have limitations as to what I can do.  Mostly lifting things and being cautious with my movements.  I'm not going to be running a marathon anytime soon, but I feel pretty great considering.  I feel sorry for myself every now and again when I think about how badly I wanted to deliver at home, then I look at Hae's adorable face and I tell myself to "suck it up pansy" she is perfect!  She is so heavenly in fact, I cry when I think about her. 

Let's talk breast feeding for a minute...  I struggled BIG time with my first baby.  My milk supply was less than impressive.  Kynlee would NOT latch.  So I would pump it, then bottle feed her.  That's double the amount of time it should take to feed a baby.  Now add going to work on top of it!  No wonder I only made it to 6 months.  We had to supplement as well, due to the low supply.
With Haedynn... things are a LITTLE different.  And when I say a little I mean A LOT different.  Hae has what I call a tracking device and she knows exactly where she is going to get food.  It's rather hilarious.  When she is hungry she either tries to suck off her hands, or she smacks her lips together.  I feel like a COW on a dairy farm.  Not sure if it is one of the supplements I'm taking (I own half of Dixie Nutrition) or what, but DANG!    I have already started a stock pile in the freezer and we will be running out of freezer space in no time.  I have calculated how many calories I burn in a day JUST BY FEEDING/PUMPING - 800+ calories.  A Mom with average milk production will burn 300-500 calories a day.  That means, I need to consume A LOT of food just to keep up.  I forget to eat sometimes, and when I do I get light headed and start to shake.  I have been better about making sure I eat SOMETHING, even if it's just crackers.  Do you think the hospital would let me pay them back with MILK????  ha ha ha but seriously that would be EPIC if they did :-)

We have been extremely blessed with help from Family.  Kyle's Family has provided amazing meals.  Kyle enjoys their cooking A LOT more than mine, so he has been eating like a king.  My Mom stayed with me for awhile to help with Kyn.  I was told not to drive for 2 weeks, and that my friends was one of the most challenging things about this whole adventure.  My sister even drove down for a night.  It's pretty impressive when they will drive more hours than they actually get to stay with you.  What can I say?!?  Other than we are blessed!

Home Delivery... Almost!

I wrote my birth story in my journal, but I figured now that I have a minute of spare time I would put it up on here for those that have been interested in reading the details.

Some of you know that I did a home birth that took a detour to the hospital for a C-section.  I have never been the type of person to be okay with things drifting from the plan in the play book, but in this particular situation I think I am blessed for the fact I have a healthy and safe baby. 

Here it goes...

Tuesday May 3rd, I was beyond desperate to induce labor on my own.  You name it, I took it!  I was determined to make sure I did not get to that 42 week mark.  Through out the day I would have "birthing waves" nothing consistent.  I had my check up with my Midwife.  I was only dilated to a 2.  Surprise Surprise!  My body is rather stubborn.  Around 9:30 that night I decided I was going for the "pump it out method."  I got out my breast pump and did what I needed to do!  Around 10:07 p.m. I was having some legit pressure waves, they weren't 3-5 min apart but they were coming every 10-15 minutes.  I secretly got excited.  I started tracking them.  About an hour later they were consistently 2-5 min apart, meanwhile I was listening to my Hypnobabies tracks.  I was smiling from ear to ear as the pressure waves came.  THIS WAS IT!  I was going to get to hold my baby soon. 

I called Kyle (he was on a job) and told him he needed to come home.  He said it might be a little bit, because he was in Dammeron Valley.  I continued to stay relaxed, sitting on the exercise ball and documenting the "pressure waves."  I called my Midwife and told her "it's baby time" I explained the length and timing of my pressure waves, and told her not to rush but she should probably head this way. 

My tracks (Hypnobabies affirmations) kept me so relaxed and confident.  Kyle made it home, it seemed like he made it home in 5 minutes, apparently I was just out of it.  Janae arrived and checked my progress.  I was dilated to a 4!!!  Some would be discouraged by that, I was just happy!  I enjoyed being in the tub, still listening to my tracks.  They would pour warm water over my belly.  This felt awesome.  When I was out of the tub, they used warm towels on my lower back, that too was so comforting.  I believe I stayed relatively calm, making some noises just to release the pressure.  The time seemed to fly by.  I was just so excited to meet this baby! 

And then...

Janae checked me again, and discovered as the baby had dropped into my cervix an "anterior lip" had developed.  If you are a visual person think of it as my child's head had slightly closed the gate.  With each pushing wave her head continued to push down on this "lip" causing some cervical swelling.  I knew something was off, and my mind lost it.  My body took over.  I could not control what my body was trying to do.  It wanted to push, it kept pushing, I tried to breathe it out, but I was not winning.  Janae tried EVERYTHING to get her head to push back so she could move it passed the lip.  I was put into positions I never thought my body was capable of. 

As calmly as can be, Janae gave me my options.  I made the decision to go to the hospital for a C-section, as something inside me knew there was NO WAY this baby was going to be delivered vaginally.  I began to apologize to everyone (Kyle, Janae, and her assistant Trish)  I felt like a FAILURE.  I just ran a marathon and broke my leg on the last mile.  I will never forget what Janae told me, she looked at me and said, "why are you sorry? you didn't do anything wrong, the goal is to have a safe baby"  This calmed my spirit.  But I was/and still get sad thinking about how close I was. 

At 8:00 a.m. Kyle drove me to labor and delivery, a place I NEVER wanted to see again.  Janae accompanied us at admitting.  They asked me A LOT of questions.  They questioned my reasoning for wanting a C section.  I explained everything that had happened with Kynlee's delivery and the hematoma.  The Surgeon gave me a little bit of an attitude saying "you can't just come in here asking for a C section"  (keep in mind my body is STILL trying to push a baby through a partially closed cervix) She checked me, discovered EVERYTHING myself and Janae had been explaining was accurate.  GO FIGURE!  The Surgeon said, "prep for surgery, this baby is not coming vaginally"  My cervix was completely swollen. 

They wheeled me into the operating room.  Gave me a "spinal block" (which I was relieved it actually worked) Sliced me open, moved some things around.  The baby decided to flip while they were in there, and she actually presented as breech.  The surgeon could not believe a baby of that size was able to flip like that.  @ 9:00 a.m. baby girl was born.  They rushed the baby to the NICU for respiratory therapy.  Kyle almost fainted, and followed the baby.  I puked everywhere.  They put me back together, wheeled me to another room and I sat there.  Waiting... waiting... I did not get to see my baby.  I did not get to hold my baby.  I had no idea how she was doing.  I just wanted to know she was okay. 

Finally, a nurse came in telling me her status.  She had been given help to breath, but she was going to be okay.  She weighed 8 lbs 6 oz, and was 21.5 inches long. Oh, and she told me she was gorgeous!  Kyle eventually left the baby (he is VERY protective) and came to check on me.  We both cried together.  Everything was kind of a blur.  He showed me pictures of the baby.  She looked just like him, again, another baby that was a Kyle clone.  He told me all about what had happened and why he almost fainted.  I was just happy to know she was healthy.  The NICU nurse came in and explained what the protocol was.  Basically, she just needed to take breaths on her own without help and she could join me in my room.  Knowing how tough my kids are, I knew I would be holding her soon.

They cleared her from the NICU and brought her to my arms.  I FELL IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN!  I loved her already, but to look at her face, kiss her cheeks, and touch her hair was all I needed.  I had waited 41 weeks and then some for this moment.  I didn't care about anything else at that point.  The pain didn't exist.  It was HEAVEN.  We still were not sure what we were naming her.  I thought as soon as I saw her I would know.  Apparently, Kynlee already knew her name because she told everyone in the hospital elevator her name was Haedynn Brooke!!!  And so it was.  Our little Haedynn made us a Family of four. 

Even though things didn't go as planned and we ended up with a slight road block, I am beyond blessed to have gone through the experience of a home birth.  Even though the reward was born at the hospital I still did more than I ever thought possible in the comfort of my home.  I am so lucky I had Janae as my Midwife.  The amount of care that she provided more than exceeds anything I ever thought possible.  After all, The goal was to have a safe baby.  Not only did I get a safe baby, I got the most beautiful and kindest child a Mommy could ask for.