4 weeks

Time is flying.  I can't even believe it has been 4 weeks since Lady Long Legs joined our Family.  She is seriously so heavenly.  I can't handle it!  We are so in love with her. 

2 weeks with Haedynn Baby!

Haedynn had her 2 week check up and ROCKED IT!  She has gained almost 1 full pound in just a week.  She weighed 9.4 lbs, and was almost 22 inches long.  To say she is growing is an understatement.  I can NOT WAIT to get her newborn pics back from the Photographer.  There were some precious moments captured, and pictures are my way of re-living those memories.

Over the past couple of weeks, I have learned A LOT about Haedynn Brooke.  She is THE SWEETEST and most chill baby I have ever met.  I seriously don't know what to do most the time because she is just amazing.  She has been sleeping 4-6 hours at a time during the night.  I wake up more frequently than she does because I worry!!!  I'll feel her chest and make sure she is breathing.  Ya know typical Mom stuff.  She is the best eater.  Thank the heavens above!  When she cries (most the time) it sounds more like a little whimper.  She rarely screams.  She LOVES to snuggle up next to her Dad.  It doesn't take long for her to be in a deep sleep when she is next to his heat source.  She has the LONGEST legs.  I have no idea how I carried her for as long as I did.  She must have been extremely cramped up.  She is a HUGE fan of Kynlee.  Anytime Kynlee starts talking Haedynn tries to track her down.  It's adorable.  It is looking as if Hae will have light blue eyes.  As far as hair color... I have NO IDEA what is going on with her hair.  Sometimes it looks auburn, other times it looks light blonde, and then the back looks brown!  I guess time will tell what color it really is. 
Her nicknames are Hae, HaeB, and Muffin.  She is not too fond of her car seat.  She just wants to be held! 

As far as how I feel...  My smiley face (incision) is healing nicely the Doc says.  I still have limitations as to what I can do.  Mostly lifting things and being cautious with my movements.  I'm not going to be running a marathon anytime soon, but I feel pretty great considering.  I feel sorry for myself every now and again when I think about how badly I wanted to deliver at home, then I look at Hae's adorable face and I tell myself to "suck it up pansy" she is perfect!  She is so heavenly in fact, I cry when I think about her. 

Let's talk breast feeding for a minute...  I struggled BIG time with my first baby.  My milk supply was less than impressive.  Kynlee would NOT latch.  So I would pump it, then bottle feed her.  That's double the amount of time it should take to feed a baby.  Now add going to work on top of it!  No wonder I only made it to 6 months.  We had to supplement as well, due to the low supply.
With Haedynn... things are a LITTLE different.  And when I say a little I mean A LOT different.  Hae has what I call a tracking device and she knows exactly where she is going to get food.  It's rather hilarious.  When she is hungry she either tries to suck off her hands, or she smacks her lips together.  I feel like a COW on a dairy farm.  Not sure if it is one of the supplements I'm taking (I own half of Dixie Nutrition) or what, but DANG!    I have already started a stock pile in the freezer and we will be running out of freezer space in no time.  I have calculated how many calories I burn in a day JUST BY FEEDING/PUMPING - 800+ calories.  A Mom with average milk production will burn 300-500 calories a day.  That means, I need to consume A LOT of food just to keep up.  I forget to eat sometimes, and when I do I get light headed and start to shake.  I have been better about making sure I eat SOMETHING, even if it's just crackers.  Do you think the hospital would let me pay them back with MILK????  ha ha ha but seriously that would be EPIC if they did :-)

We have been extremely blessed with help from Family.  Kyle's Family has provided amazing meals.  Kyle enjoys their cooking A LOT more than mine, so he has been eating like a king.  My Mom stayed with me for awhile to help with Kyn.  I was told not to drive for 2 weeks, and that my friends was one of the most challenging things about this whole adventure.  My sister even drove down for a night.  It's pretty impressive when they will drive more hours than they actually get to stay with you.  What can I say?!?  Other than we are blessed!

Home Delivery... Almost!

I wrote my birth story in my journal, but I figured now that I have a minute of spare time I would put it up on here for those that have been interested in reading the details.

Some of you know that I did a home birth that took a detour to the hospital for a C-section.  I have never been the type of person to be okay with things drifting from the plan in the play book, but in this particular situation I think I am blessed for the fact I have a healthy and safe baby. 

Here it goes...

Tuesday May 3rd, I was beyond desperate to induce labor on my own.  You name it, I took it!  I was determined to make sure I did not get to that 42 week mark.  Through out the day I would have "birthing waves" nothing consistent.  I had my check up with my Midwife.  I was only dilated to a 2.  Surprise Surprise!  My body is rather stubborn.  Around 9:30 that night I decided I was going for the "pump it out method."  I got out my breast pump and did what I needed to do!  Around 10:07 p.m. I was having some legit pressure waves, they weren't 3-5 min apart but they were coming every 10-15 minutes.  I secretly got excited.  I started tracking them.  About an hour later they were consistently 2-5 min apart, meanwhile I was listening to my Hypnobabies tracks.  I was smiling from ear to ear as the pressure waves came.  THIS WAS IT!  I was going to get to hold my baby soon. 

I called Kyle (he was on a job) and told him he needed to come home.  He said it might be a little bit, because he was in Dammeron Valley.  I continued to stay relaxed, sitting on the exercise ball and documenting the "pressure waves."  I called my Midwife and told her "it's baby time" I explained the length and timing of my pressure waves, and told her not to rush but she should probably head this way. 

My tracks (Hypnobabies affirmations) kept me so relaxed and confident.  Kyle made it home, it seemed like he made it home in 5 minutes, apparently I was just out of it.  Janae arrived and checked my progress.  I was dilated to a 4!!!  Some would be discouraged by that, I was just happy!  I enjoyed being in the tub, still listening to my tracks.  They would pour warm water over my belly.  This felt awesome.  When I was out of the tub, they used warm towels on my lower back, that too was so comforting.  I believe I stayed relatively calm, making some noises just to release the pressure.  The time seemed to fly by.  I was just so excited to meet this baby! 

And then...

Janae checked me again, and discovered as the baby had dropped into my cervix an "anterior lip" had developed.  If you are a visual person think of it as my child's head had slightly closed the gate.  With each pushing wave her head continued to push down on this "lip" causing some cervical swelling.  I knew something was off, and my mind lost it.  My body took over.  I could not control what my body was trying to do.  It wanted to push, it kept pushing, I tried to breathe it out, but I was not winning.  Janae tried EVERYTHING to get her head to push back so she could move it passed the lip.  I was put into positions I never thought my body was capable of. 

As calmly as can be, Janae gave me my options.  I made the decision to go to the hospital for a C-section, as something inside me knew there was NO WAY this baby was going to be delivered vaginally.  I began to apologize to everyone (Kyle, Janae, and her assistant Trish)  I felt like a FAILURE.  I just ran a marathon and broke my leg on the last mile.  I will never forget what Janae told me, she looked at me and said, "why are you sorry? you didn't do anything wrong, the goal is to have a safe baby"  This calmed my spirit.  But I was/and still get sad thinking about how close I was. 

At 8:00 a.m. Kyle drove me to labor and delivery, a place I NEVER wanted to see again.  Janae accompanied us at admitting.  They asked me A LOT of questions.  They questioned my reasoning for wanting a C section.  I explained everything that had happened with Kynlee's delivery and the hematoma.  The Surgeon gave me a little bit of an attitude saying "you can't just come in here asking for a C section"  (keep in mind my body is STILL trying to push a baby through a partially closed cervix) She checked me, discovered EVERYTHING myself and Janae had been explaining was accurate.  GO FIGURE!  The Surgeon said, "prep for surgery, this baby is not coming vaginally"  My cervix was completely swollen. 

They wheeled me into the operating room.  Gave me a "spinal block" (which I was relieved it actually worked) Sliced me open, moved some things around.  The baby decided to flip while they were in there, and she actually presented as breech.  The surgeon could not believe a baby of that size was able to flip like that.  @ 9:00 a.m. baby girl was born.  They rushed the baby to the NICU for respiratory therapy.  Kyle almost fainted, and followed the baby.  I puked everywhere.  They put me back together, wheeled me to another room and I sat there.  Waiting... waiting... I did not get to see my baby.  I did not get to hold my baby.  I had no idea how she was doing.  I just wanted to know she was okay. 

Finally, a nurse came in telling me her status.  She had been given help to breath, but she was going to be okay.  She weighed 8 lbs 6 oz, and was 21.5 inches long. Oh, and she told me she was gorgeous!  Kyle eventually left the baby (he is VERY protective) and came to check on me.  We both cried together.  Everything was kind of a blur.  He showed me pictures of the baby.  She looked just like him, again, another baby that was a Kyle clone.  He told me all about what had happened and why he almost fainted.  I was just happy to know she was healthy.  The NICU nurse came in and explained what the protocol was.  Basically, she just needed to take breaths on her own without help and she could join me in my room.  Knowing how tough my kids are, I knew I would be holding her soon.

They cleared her from the NICU and brought her to my arms.  I FELL IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN!  I loved her already, but to look at her face, kiss her cheeks, and touch her hair was all I needed.  I had waited 41 weeks and then some for this moment.  I didn't care about anything else at that point.  The pain didn't exist.  It was HEAVEN.  We still were not sure what we were naming her.  I thought as soon as I saw her I would know.  Apparently, Kynlee already knew her name because she told everyone in the hospital elevator her name was Haedynn Brooke!!!  And so it was.  Our little Haedynn made us a Family of four. 

Even though things didn't go as planned and we ended up with a slight road block, I am beyond blessed to have gone through the experience of a home birth.  Even though the reward was born at the hospital I still did more than I ever thought possible in the comfort of my home.  I am so lucky I had Janae as my Midwife.  The amount of care that she provided more than exceeds anything I ever thought possible.  After all, The goal was to have a safe baby.  Not only did I get a safe baby, I got the most beautiful and kindest child a Mommy could ask for.

They say I'm crazy

As some of you know I'm planning on a home birth with this wonderful baby.  5 years ago if you would have told me I was going to have a Midwife and deliver at home with no epidural I would have laughed in your face. But, there is a story and an explanation of why I made this decision.
 Fast forward to 4 years ago... I was pregnant with my Kyn. I had little to NO education on child birth. I went into labor (water broke at home) I PUKED everywhere. The combination of anxiety and the pain killer I was given put my nerves on overload. Needless to say, I puked multiple times on the way to the hospital. I also threw up while I was there A LOT. I was given an epidural. At first it was nice and I was able to relax. Then reality set in, my body stopped responding to the drugs and I started to feel EVERYTHING. I was completely unprepared. After 18 hours of contractions, being completely ignored by the nurses, feeling worthless, and having zero control my lil Kynlee was FINALLY born with the biggest hematoma the Doctor had ever seen. I'm quite confident there was a void in the communication the Nurses were giving my Doctor, otherwise He would have been there sooner. My beautiful baby girl ended up in the NICU for 5 days. The only positive experience from the hospital was the NICU(besides getting to meet my baby of course).
So, call me crazy!!! I don't care because it took me 4 WHOLE years to consider pregnancy again after that traumatic experience. I told myself if I were blessed with another baby I would need to go a COMPLETEY different route. That's when I started researching options. Everything came down to having a Midwife. Through the help of a friend I met Janae. Let me tell you, when I walked into her home for the consultation I felt at peace. I could actually hear my spirit telling me "you're safe." Right then and there I knew, this is what I need. I was given any/all resources I asked for. I was told Hypnobabies would help me control my anxiety and prepare me for my home delivery journey. Boy oh boy has it helped immensely. I am so excited and confident for this baby to come. I'm amazed at the complete 360 my brain has turned. I'm actually looking forward to my "birthing time." Not only has my anxiety been more manageable, but I now have the ability to control EVERYTHING I feel.

Apparently I used to BLOG

According to my research I stopped blogging in 2013.  I have no idea why!  But I am so glad I had the brilliant idea years ago, because some of the pictures I blogged about I thought I had lost forever when the "back up drive" with ALL of my memories was FRIED!  Anyway, I'm back and there are some exciting things going on in our lives right now!  I will try to be better at updating.  Especially considering in less than 2 months we will be welcoming our second Princess. 

Life as we know it!

Can't believe it has been 5 years since we said "I DO." Seems like just yesterday, and a long time ago at the same time. We have gone through some interesting times in 5 years, but they are all out weighed by the joys. And Best of all, is the baby girl we now have in our family. She is our world and has melted our hearts. She has her Dad wrapped around her finger, and she's my favorite Pal. Kyle and I have been working so hard to achieve our goal of being home owners. But if anyone knows Kyle, it can't just be a house. It has to be THE HOUSE. It may be a little longer than I had anticipated, but I guess it will all be worth it when I see that we didn't settle, and we waited it out until PERFECTION was achievable. I'm not a patient person, so it has been a BIG battle for me. I'm working on it. Every night when I get home I think about how lucky I am to have a healthy family. I would trade ANYTHING for the happiness of my family. In the end, your family is what you have left. I don't like regret, and I have definitely been living a life lately where I can honestly say "I don't have regrets." We have become almost completely DEBT FREE. Once we pay off Kyle's truck (in a few months) we will have ZERO debt. That my friends is one of the best feelings ever. Anyway, Happy 5 years to Kyle Vaughan!

Kynlee turns 1

Today my little Princess turned 1 year old.  It's crazy how fast time flies.  Especially when you have a little precious one that you don't want to grow up too fast!  She is such a sweetheart.  And an amazing blessing.  She had a fantastic birthda party.  Many family and friends were there.  I would say I may have over done it.  But she is worth every second.  As for STATS, she has 3 teeth now.  She refuses to take any steps.  She is a rather cautious baby.  That, she DID NOT get from me.  Must be a trait from Kyle.  Either way, she crawls extremely fast and I have a hard time keeping up with her.  She does not hold still for anything.  She is still waking up at night, but its getting better.  She still enjoys sweet potatoes and loves fruit.  There is no doubt that she LOVES the water.  I think she has fins or something.  She is quite the chatter box and has a short temper :-).  She has a giggle that can melt your heart.  She still has chubby cheeks and I think she will for awhile.  Everyday she learns something new and teeaches me something too.  I'm seriously so in love with this little diaper diva!!

The day she turned 1

Blowing kisses

Her "vintage" birthday outfit

Almost 1

Kynlee is growing fast.  She celebrated her 11 month birthday on March 30th.  She now has 2 teeth.  She is quite proud of them.  She didn't show any sign of teeth until 10.5 months, and finally they cut through.  She is crawling like Jack Jack and climbing like a monkey.  She can stand on her own for long periods at a time but she refuses to take any steps.  Funny lil girl.  Secretly, I'm okay with her taking her time, I can barely keep up with her now.  She is the love of our lives and we enjoy each day with her.  As for Kyle and I, we are working very hard towards being home owners.  I'm keeping positive, and if we continue to stay on track we will be HOMEWARD bound by the end of the year.  YAY!!!

We celebrated Easter in St. George.  It was pretty fun.  Kynlee did well in the Easter egg hunt.  She got the $20 golden egg.  We also decorated eggs.  It was an adventure to say the least!

SERIOUSLY IN LOVE WITH THOSE EYES

HER OUTFIT! SHE WON THE BOW AND ONESIE!!!

HER FIRST EASTER BASKET AND THEN..... SHE WOKE UP

I DID EXIST.  I DON'T EVER HAVE PICS OF ME! SO HERE'S ONE

KYN WITH HER BOYFRIEND :-) AND THE GOLDEN EGG