They say I'm crazy

As some of you know I'm planning on a home birth with this wonderful baby.  5 years ago if you would have told me I was going to have a Midwife and deliver at home with no epidural I would have laughed in your face. But, there is a story and an explanation of why I made this decision.
 Fast forward to 4 years ago... I was pregnant with my Kyn. I had little to NO education on child birth. I went into labor (water broke at home) I PUKED everywhere. The combination of anxiety and the pain killer I was given put my nerves on overload. Needless to say, I puked multiple times on the way to the hospital. I also threw up while I was there A LOT. I was given an epidural. At first it was nice and I was able to relax. Then reality set in, my body stopped responding to the drugs and I started to feel EVERYTHING. I was completely unprepared. After 18 hours of contractions, being completely ignored by the nurses, feeling worthless, and having zero control my lil Kynlee was FINALLY born with the biggest hematoma the Doctor had ever seen. I'm quite confident there was a void in the communication the Nurses were giving my Doctor, otherwise He would have been there sooner. My beautiful baby girl ended up in the NICU for 5 days. The only positive experience from the hospital was the NICU(besides getting to meet my baby of course).
So, call me crazy!!! I don't care because it took me 4 WHOLE years to consider pregnancy again after that traumatic experience. I told myself if I were blessed with another baby I would need to go a COMPLETEY different route. That's when I started researching options. Everything came down to having a Midwife. Through the help of a friend I met Janae. Let me tell you, when I walked into her home for the consultation I felt at peace. I could actually hear my spirit telling me "you're safe." Right then and there I knew, this is what I need. I was given any/all resources I asked for. I was told Hypnobabies would help me control my anxiety and prepare me for my home delivery journey. Boy oh boy has it helped immensely. I am so excited and confident for this baby to come. I'm amazed at the complete 360 my brain has turned. I'm actually looking forward to my "birthing time." Not only has my anxiety been more manageable, but I now have the ability to control EVERYTHING I feel.